Number twenty.

debating debating debating about going abroad. my mom finally convinced me that i should. regardless if i stay or go, i will be missing out on things either way. but if i stay in the fall, then i'll be missing out on studying abroad. which is a big deal. technically i only need to take 3 more classes to finish my major and graduate. so if i stayed in the fall i would be wasting a semester by taking random classes that i don't really need. so scotland is my choice. i will be paying the deposit and turning in my transcript this week. eek! i'm really nervous. but i feel like it's something i need to do. and i think it'll be a good experience though. def. i'm a little worried about my apartment lease though because there is a chance that i won't be able to come back to live there when i return in the spring. but whatever. i can always commute from home. although it will be my last semester.

i turn 21 on thursday. i feel old. after this birthday i won't really be looking forward to any other birthdays. i'm not ready to be an adult. this is also the first birthday in the past 3 years that i will be single. weird?? liberating.

this semester has been really strange for me. there are so many people in my life who i have lost contact with and i really miss them. a lot of my friends are abroad. and sometimes i feel so lonely. but i am super appreciative of the people who are present in my life (you all know who you are) and who make an effort to reach out to me even if i suck at it sometimes.

so i get to make a birthday wish right? this is early but i probably won't update for a while. so...

i wish that people (myself, included) can find peace and happiness within themselves. and just be happy with who you are and what you have. forget the past, and move on toward the future.